Why I Let Him Go

This is big for me, and it is not easy to say or talk about. I will keep it vague.

Why I let him go.

When you find that you’re unhappy, you begin to self destruct. You concoct ideas and plans in your head that make sense to you, and you miss the big picture. You forget others and think only of how you are feeling… and how you can make other people feel. But the aftermath of your storm can be fatal.

I let him go because his storm was killing me. I was dying, but I didn’t see the symptoms. I didn’t see the forecast. I didn’t hear the thunder.

I let him go because when someone wants to leave, they will. Instead of fighting back, I opened the door. I left it swinging in the wind.

I let him go because I was breaking. My heart was heavy, and my mind was turning against me. I was so full of self-contempt and guilt for things that weren’t my fault, and the clouds rose above my head, enveloped me, and crushed me.

I let him go because I knew it would make him happier. He was ready to move to bigger and better things, and I was trapped. Rather than play the game of crabs in a barrel, I gave him the out. I gave him a boost. The stormy waters sucked me in but took him to shore.

I let him go because I allowed myself to be hurt.

I let him go because… I’m happy again.

Advertisements