There you go thinking again.

I thought I would change. I thought I would open my eyes to the ugliness of the world and let it swallow me whole. I thought I would lose faith in others, hope for a better future, and strength in my own tenderheartedness.

Well, there I go thinking again. I was wrong.

My Vice is that I expect the best from everyone. I trust easily and invite others into my life. Although I don’t share my “deep dark secrets,” I certainly share experiences as they share with me, and why not? That’s the key to building a life that overflows with potential: developing personal relationships with the world. As humans, we thrive on those connections regardless of our personal dispositions. Even the staunchest hermit builds a relationship with his environment; it is undoubtedly personified by his own imagination and survival instincts.

(Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly people in this world who irritate me so much I would rather stub my toe every 10 minutes for 10 years than spend an extended amount of time in their presence. But! They are no bother because I keep my distance 🙂 )

My Strength is that I bounce back like a rubber band. No one can ever say I crumble like a withered leaf in the fall. The world knocks me around from time to time, but I always – always – bounce back. The height at which I soar may vary, but not my elasticity. Different weights cause me to stretch to different lengths, and the reverberations of the movements eventually calm to stillness.

My Outlook on life is open. Shit happens. My vision is not dulled, clouded, or weak. There is no more to say on that matter.

My Hope lies in my Faith, my Family, and my Friendships. What else do I need to stay the course?

And so I say one more time: I thought I would change.

There I go thinking again.

I’m glad I was wrong.

Invisible Man

This short post is inspired by a blogger I follow, MakeItUltra (TM). On his particular entry I shared a quote from a poem I love that would be inspirational and make someone find light in his or her life. This quote, however, is something completely different for me. It is what you might say motivational to a particularly aggressive, or passive aggressive, state. Although I do not solely live by this, I think of it often when I am stuck around people who have more control or power than I do in a given situation.

“Live with your head in the lion’s mouth. I want you to overcome ’em with yeses, undermine ’em with grins, agree ’em to death and destruction, let ’em swoller you til they vomit or bust wide open. – Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

The context of this quote comes from the narrator’s grandfather giving him advice about how to deal with “the white man.” Obviously this is not my purpose, though it gives sharp perspective into the feeling this quote implies. As an educator, I have had to work with many people with whom I fundamentally don’t agree, yet I’ve not been in a position to do anything about it. Instead of getting bent out of shape, I think about doing the right thing for the students in my classroom, and I “agree” to make it through whatever the situation calls for me to do. Even now, after the start of state testing, all I can do is smile and say, “Good luck!” to my students. There has been one situation where even this mindset couldn’t get me through, but that is a story for another day.

cover-Ralph-Ellison-Invisible-Man

The Very Best Part

Anyone like The Twilight Zone? It has been my all-time favorite television series since I was old enough to understand the plot of each episode. The more I watch and re-watch each season, the more I fall in love with the brilliance of human imagination.

My blog is named after my favorite episode, “Time Enough at Last.” In this particular situation, the main character lives in a world where he is made very small on a daily basis by his wife and his boss. His one true passion in life is to read… to get lost in tragedy, comedy, romance, and adventure… much like myself. When the tables turn and he is left in his own solitude, he finds true happiness and solace upon discovering a library with books, books, books! And in it, he says, “The thing of it is, the very best part, is I have time now. All the time I want, and all the time I need. Time enough at last.”

I won’t spoil the ending. My heart goes out to him.

It was the first episode to ever make me cry.

Time Enough at Last

Late Night Thoughts and Concubines

The title means nothing. Sometimes you just have a moment when you think of something clever of no significance. I knew if I drank coffee at 5:00PM (Sumatran roast) that I would have a rather difficult time falling asleep tonight. I’ve taken a shot of vodka to make me sleepy; now I just feel calm. Royal Pains is running on Netflix, my dog to my left and my cat to my right.

We all have the existential moments I suppose, when we think about what we’re doing in life; we reflect on what life would be like if we had made some different decisions. We also think about why our life became what it is because of the decisions we’ve made. Do my decisions mean anything? Should I have done something differently? Why am I the way I am…? No matter the questions, answers are not easily found.

Perhaps thinking about life at night is not a good decision. Perhaps I should just keep my mind shut before it leads me astray to bad decisions or life-changing reflections.

Don’t mind me. All who wander are not lost.